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September 10, 2003 - 3:24 p.m. Ok, here goes� The Northeast Adventure Diaries, Part IV So the morning following the Trivial Pursuit of Horror game wasn�t a pretty one, to say the least. I scraped myself up off the futon, threw on some version of clothing, though in retrospect I think I probably looked like one of the wizards from Harry Potter trying to dress as a muggle, you know house dress over a suit or some such nonsense. In any case, Opera Chick and I were heading into beautiful, downtown Burlington to meet a friend of mine, Shhshwa, for brunch. As luck would have it he was in town for the weekend at the exact time I was, how weird is that? It�s even weirder if you consider the fact that we live probably 1000 miles apart, haven�t seen each other in over a year and only realized we were going to be in the same place when he e-mailed me, out of the blue, after probably 6 months of silence (on both of our parts), to say �hi.� What are the odds? Aaaanyway, we all met up at the Ben & Jerry�s on Church St. (All roads lead to Ben & Jerry�s�) and headed down Church St. to look for sustenance and, for Opera Chick and me, the hair of the dog. We finally settled on this restaurant, I can�t remember the name, but I henceforth dub it, �The Restaurant with the Slowest Brunch in the Land.� Seriously. It was unbelievable. The place wasn�t even crowded, I mean it was 12.30 on a Sunday and we walked right up and got a seat outside on the patio just as quick as you please, sooo not crowded at all. Anyway, we surveyed the drinks menu, �cause hello, we were hurting and thought the delicate nectar of champagne and orange juice might be just what the doctor ordered, Dr. H.R. O�Dawg, don�t you know. So we peruse the menu at the RWTSBITL while waiting for our salvation to arrive, and waiting, and waaaaaaiting. Seriously, it was like 45 minutes before we even got our drinks, needless to say we hadn�t ordered our food yet. So in the hopes of killing time while waiting on our waiter, we amused ourselves with whatever we could find. I think my favorite thing ever was on the little table placard thingy that advertises drink specials, you know? It said:
Monster: Ummm�me? Now come on, do people still drink wine spritzers? Has anyone had a wine spritzer after 1982, really? I mean, if you love a good wine spritzer I�ve got no problem with that, I�m just wondering. You know, come to think of it, I�m not sure I�ve ever seen anyone order, make or drink a wine spritzer, and I go to a lot of cocktail parties. Am I missing something here? Is there a beauty inherent to the wine spritzer that I�m just missing? Truly questions for the ages. Anyway, we finally received our food, an hour and a half after we sat down. Really. I'm not kidding about that one. OC and I decided a preemptive strike might be the best strategy, so we went ahead and ordered another glass of sweet, sweet nectar before our erstwhile waiter scampered. He then brought our drinks, 30 minutes later�after our plates were cleared away. Faaantastic. So our �quick� brunch, only 1 course and 2 drinks, in an uncrowded restaurant lasted from 12.00 pm � 3.00 pm, yeah a brief 3 hour brunch. So after that OC and I decided to take in all the wonders of Church St., which is a big, bricked pedestrian area with shops, restaurants, bars etc. Not much exciting happened, we did some browsing and I got the best Happy Bunny stuff. Kick Ass. However, during the course of our wandering I did hear the funniest comment I�d heard in a long while. This guy was walking with a couple of women, they all had bags of stuff and had very clearly been shopping. It appeared that they were discussing the whole shopping process and the guy, in all earnestness, said: �Victoria�s Secret should sell long underwear.� I have to say that comment strikes me as a little odd. I mean maybe the women were saying how much they wished they could purchase underwear from V. Secret�s, but since it�s so damn cold in Vermont a tiny, lacey thong�s just not gonna cut it. Or maybe the guy has a long underwear fetish and he�s thinking that V. Secret�s could come up with something really smokin�, all sexy and fuzzy. I don�t know, it struck me as very strange though. Ok, this is getting long, so Canada will have to be next time� I leave you with this�
� Wondering:Who likes a wine spritzer? Seriously, can someone help me with that one?
Doing:Wrapping it up.
Wishing:Oddly enough, for a wine spritzer. I think I need to conduct some tests.
Travel back in time True Art - June 21, 2004
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