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July 30, 2003 - 10:57 a.m. So all kinds of crazy things have happened lately and I don�t really know where to start, so I think I�ll just dive right in. The Lizard is here, he and the Lobster and I went out to dinner on Monday night, lots of fun was had by all. I�m afraid the Lobster might have found out a little more than he wanted to about my college experience, but what are you gonna do? So today�s entry will be a sum up of all the weird things that have happened lately. The Lobster and I were developing pictures the other day and in the den I found an old collectable toy. It was one of those tin ones made in Beijing or the like that you see in small toy shops lurking in the back covered in dust. It was a duck, on a tricycle wearing a conical propeller hat, like they do, in bright, primary colors. That, in and of itself is amusing, but the really funny part was the advertising tag-line on the box, it said:
At first I think you look at that and think: Ok, makes sense�wait a minute, nothing about that makes sense. Shouldn�t it be Funny Wind-Up Action? I�m trying to think what funny action could be, and why can�t I have Wind-Up Funny Action, that�d be awesome, just wind me up and watch the hilarity ensue. Sadly, I don�t possess that particular trait, which is no doubt becoming painfully obvious as you read this. Sigh. Up next on the crazy train (dun-nuh, dun-nuh dun-nuh, dun-nuh aye aye aye), I just found out a friend of mine from college, Jazzon, is going to be on Date Plate on the Food Network tonight. You know that dating show where 2 men cook for a lovely bachelorette and woo her based on their cooking prowess. I don�t know if any of you have ever watched that show, but it�s hilarious. The guys get teamed up with chefs from local (to whichever city they are in) restaurants and they help the guys craft culinary masterpieces. The best is when the guys get to watch from a hidden camera the girl�s reaction to the meals. Anyway, if that interests you at all you should check it out, there is also this article that gives a little more info. I can�t even begin to describe how much this cracks me up. Jazzon�s sooo going to trounce that guy, I can feel it. And the last item for your consideration is the dream I had last night. I dreamt that Johnny Depp, in his Pirates of the Caribbean persona was hanging out with me and several of my friends in a bar. (Which is interesting on its own, because I haven�t even seen that movie yet. I guess their ad campaign is doing what it�s supposed to, I haven�t even seen the film and it�s completely invaded my subconscious.) Anyway, it was one of those cruise ship looking bars, with the rounded squashy chairs with the high arms that are clustered around tiny round tables. He was all �Arrr�matey, I�m a pirate, grrrr�� and giving me drinks left and right. I wake up the next morning, still in the bar and it�s completely empty. No Pirate Johnny, no friends, just me and the harsh light of day. I get up and wander off to find my friends and I run into the Lobster, who I ask why they left me alone to sleep it off in a bar. He said that Pirate Johnny had run up quite the tab getting drinks for me and then he scampered and didn�t pay the bill, so they left me in the bar as a form of collateral I guess. That night, Pirate Johnny was back, putting the moves on me and buying drinks he wouldn�t pay for. Just like a pirate.
� Wondering:How I can get Wind-Up Funny Action
Doing:Drinking a Diet Coke
Wishing:For Jazzon to kick that other guy's ass
Travel back in time True Art - June 21, 2004
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